How much pain can a bottle of chili sauce cause?

I intend to answer that question becuase you'd be surprised. Have you ever just had "one of those days"? I can't imagine anyone would answer no to that question. We all have them. I thought I'd take a few minutes to share a short but true story that can be chalked up to "one of those days". Yesterday started like any other day. My alarm went off and I stared at my phone praying that it was Saturday morning instead of Wednesday. I then told myself, "I'll go to the gym right after work. Too tired now. Must sleep for 12 more minutes". I jumped out of bed crossing the ice before making it to the bathroom. I then had to remove my snow mobile suit before showering and preparing for another day(the thermostat is kept a little low in the winter). The minute I hit the office the business, crisis' and drama began. I went from meeting to meeting and problem to problem all day. By the time 5:00 rolled around I realized that I hadn't had a break all day and my brain was fried. I left the office around 5:30 and drove away preparing for a nice quiet peaceful evening at home. I just needed to run one little errand before getting into my jammies calling it a day. I needed to get some grocery items for my staff Christmas party this week. This meant that I needed to run really quick to Wal Mart. I don't know what I was thinking. I suppose I wasn't thinking. I have learned my lesson at Wal Mart. I try to avoid the store at all costs between the hours of 11 am and 8 pm. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas I prefer to avoid it all together. However, last night I just needed a few things and I didn't want to pay Marsh's higher prices so off I went around 6'ish. DUMB DECISION! One word- CROWD. Another word- STRESS. Two more words- Wal Mart Rage. My relaxing and quiet evening was clearly off to a rough start. I fought the impulse to run over people's heels with my cart. I fought the urge to scream things like, "EXCUSE ME CAN I PLEASE GET THROUGH?" and "WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PARK YOUR CART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLE AND CHIT CHAT WITH YOUR FRIEND?" I know- I know. I'm a terrible person and you never have thoughts like that. Please forgive me for having un kind thoughts last night. After fighting through the crowds and making my way to the front of the store my blood pressure took a turn for the worse as I observed lines of people where they shouldn't be. It's the holiday's peeps. Might be a good idea to have more than 5 lanes open. I took my place in line while I tried to go to my happy place in my head. The noise was getting to me so I then began some yoga excercises I use to de-stress. I used a lot of self talk as I waited and an hour and a half later was exiting the store (might be a slight exaggeration :) ). Of course it was raining and cold as my friend and I got into the car. As we sped away from "Wal Hell" I said to my friend for the 3rd time, "It's been a stressful day". Hang on it gets better. I made it into the house dropping the bags of groceries on the counter. In a split second my world was turned upside down. Before I could release one of the bags a bottle of chili sauce apparently escaped from a bag, rolled off of the counter, plunged approx. 3 feet and fell directly on MY BIG TOE. I am twitching now reliving the trauma. I can't begin to explain to you the pain that shot from my toe through out my body. I instantly turned into a 2 year old whining, crying and yelling in pain all at the same time. I knew my toe nail was a goner and I suspected I might not walk for days. I then spent a great deal of time sitting with my foot elevated and holding an ice pack to my toe. What a day! I am pleased to say that it looks like I'll be able to keep my toe nail in case some one was wondering.

My new friend Julie

Earlier this summer our Sunday School class invited Jim Vermilya to come and talk about community outreach opportunities. We ended up having a great discussion in class about the need for community outreach and possible opportunities around us. We ended the class discussing barriers to community outreach. As someone who witnesses the many needs in the community on a daily basis, I became very excited months ago when CWC announced it was developing a strategic plan for community outreach. I feel very passionate about the need for churches to reach out offering helping hands to hurting people around us. There is hardly a day that goes by when I do not come into contact with a child or parent and think, "this person just needs someone to spend time with them and/or love them". I witness often the power of someone simply taking a moment to show value and kindness to another individual. Our communities (and world) are full or people in need. I have come to see that underneath all of the problems and needs people have there seems to be one need they all have in common.... lonliness. During Sunday School as we discussed opportunities for community service it was also announced that CWC would be partnering with World Hope on a project in Africa. My ears instantly perked up as I have felt a pull towards Africa for some time now. Not sure I can totally explain this "pull" I refer to. I know that I have felt for some time the need to visit Africa and see for myself the poverty, sickness and orphaned children I hear about. I left Sunday School that day again excited about the discussion and possibilities. On Tuesday of that week I was going about my day as usual. A friend had called and asked if she could drop her kids off with me for a bit after work. I left work with a to do list: supper, pick up house, clean out car, be home by 6:30 to wathch kids. My mission was clear and I was right on schedule as I headed towards the car wash that evening. As I waitied to turn into Wal Mart and the car wash I saw her. She was sitting on the curb in front of the car wash. She was sitting with her head down and had items surrounding her. I noticed a small piece of cardboard at her feet. I was very curious as I turned into the car wash straining to see what the piece of card board said. As I drove past her I read, "Curb sale". I brought my car to a stop at the area to vacuum your car and went about my business. I moved quickly to vacuum my car so I could be home in time to greet my friend. As I vacuumed I couldn't help but watch this lady sitting on the curb not 15 steps from me. My mind turned with questions and assumptions. What would someone be doing trying to see things by the curb? "What was her story?" "Was she mentally ill?" "Was anyone buying anything from her?" As my mind was turning with these thoughts my heart was telling me to go talk to her. I'm embarrassed to say that I ignored what my heart was telling me. I stuck to my mission. I would glance over at her every once in awhile and tell myself I didn't have time to go talk to her. I told myself that I wouldn't know what to say to her anyway. I thought about how much money I had with me and considered giving her some. But I told myself that I didn't want to be offensive to her and assume she needed money. The little voice would not stop, "go talk to her Missy". I told myself that I would if I had more time.... Then the little voice spoke to me sending an arrow of conviction straight to my heart, "Missy two days ago you sat in SS and considered the possibility of traveling clear to Africa but you are not willing to reach out to someone who is only 15 steps away from you right now?" Ouch! Before I knew it I had hung up the vacuum hose and was walking towards the woman. I know I approached her with no clue what I would say. Not even sure what my first words were. I learned that her name was Julie. She was selling items to raise gas money to travel to her next destination. She was selling a pair of shoes, 2 decorative pillows (she said she found in a car), a box of opened and used Valentines cards and a couple toys from happy meals at McDonalds. Julie shared with me that she had been homeless for 12 years. I asked if she had any family and she said she thought she had a neice in Kansas City. Julie lives out of her car and moves from town to town as she finds enough gas money. She told me that I was the first person who had stopped to talk to her that day. She was easy to talk to. I listened as she talked about politics.... She was dirty, disheveled and I believed likely mentally ill. Yet she is precious in the eyes of God. After visiting awhile I told her I needed to go. I then did what I thought was the "Christian thing" to do and told her I'd be praying for her. Her reply surprised me and caught me off guard. She said, "great I could use that" and she bowed her hear. Confused I asked if she wanted me to pray with her right then. She indicated that she did. I sat beside my new friend Julie on the curb and started to pray. I got out, "Dear Lord thank you for this day of life" before I got choked up and could not continue. I was embarrassed as I sat there crying. Julie sat there with her head still bowed. She didn't seem to even notice my tears. I sat there ashamed for my selfish attitude earlier and overwhelmed with thankfulness for the blessings in my life. I pulled myself together, finished praying, gave Julie some money and then bid her goodbye. The next day I noticed she was sitting on the same curb again. It was very hot that day and she was sitting there in the same clothes she had been wearing the day before. There was no internal conflict as I pulled into the lot and greeted her again. She said she remembered me although I was not sure she really did. We visited for a short time and I left. The next day as I passed by "her" spot I looked to see if she was still there. There she sat with her head down and in the same clothes. As I headed to an appointment I decided that I would put together a care package of sorts and stop to see her later. I picked up some toiletry type items and a Bible to give Julie. I headed towards "her" spot eager to visit with her and give her this gift. As I rounded the corner I was disappointed to find that she was gone. I passed by several more times that day and the next. She had left. As the days passed I wondered what became of Julie. I will likely never see my new friend again. I had just two brief interactions with this person yet God has used her in my life. She comes to mind often. I never pass "her" spot when I am not reminded of the many things I have to be thankful for. God has also used her to remind me that I don't have to travel to Africa to be a part of a missions trip or community outreach. I am surrounded by opportunities everywhere I go. There are "Julie's" at work, church, Wal Mart, sitting on curbs..... I am trying to work on not being so focused on my agenda that I miss seeing the "Julie's" in my life.

"You have the power to be brave"

My sister recently shared with me a conversation that took place between my 6 yr. old neice Chloe and 4 yr. old neice Sophie. Chloe and Sophie discovered this summer that one of their favorite things to do is to chase butterflies and attempt to catch them in butterfly nets. One day when they were out in the yard chasing butterflies Chloe apparently had trouble moving a captured butterfly from the net to her waiting "butterfly home" (some sort of container). She likely was a bit anxious about the butterfly flapping around in the net trying to get free. Sophie looked at her and said, "Chloe you have the power to be brave". Apparently at Bible School this summer the kids were taught a lesson about how God gives is the power to be brave. Ever think kids aren't listening to the things they hear or noticing the things they see? I am often amazed at the things kids catch on to and the simple lessons we as adults can learn from them. I thought Sophie's statement to Chloe was precious! Sophie may not have quoted a Bible verse to go along with the lesson. She has not yet had to deal with many "big" fears and battles that life naturally brings to us yet she got the message of the lesson. God gives us the power to be brave. As I went about my week after talking with my sister I found myself hearing Sophie's wise words in my head. As I dealt with a challenge at work that seemed too big for me I heard Sophie's little voice saying, "Missy you have the power to be brave". Somehow I felt encouraged. As I was riding my bike one night feeling discouraged and like giving up again I heard the 4 yr. old voice telling me to keep going because God gives me the power to be brave. What a lesson I have learned. I often find myself in meetings where I am try to understand and follow what's being said while most of the content flies right over my head. I am thankful that God often uses very simple avenues to speak to me.

On a side note... Sophie went to the chiropractor this week (recommended treatment for her asthma). Sophie is generally a child without fear who looks forward to visiting the doctor. She went to the chiropractor once before and did not enjoy the experience at all and cried the whole time. I asked her the other night if she was brave at the chiropractor's that day. She said, "yeah, but I didn't smile at him". :)

My first race

I checked another "first" off my to do list yesterday.

A bit of history first. Many of you know that by some I am not described as a person who takes risks or steps out of her comfort zone. I think that's a nice way for people to tell me I'm no fun and afraid of everything :). About a year (closer to two) year ago I decided to start facing some fears and take some risks. I decided it was time to start some new activities. Now, I didn't go crazy and sign up for sky diving classes. I did face a HUGE fear almost 2 years ago and got contact lenses. I realize that as soon as some of you read that you are thinking, "WOW! She really lives life on the edge!" But for me that involved facing a pretty big fear. I've had glasses since my senior year of high school. My eyes are very sensitive and I've never been able to handle putting drops in my eyes. I was never able to get past the though of placing an object on my eye ball on purpose. For 12 years (or so :) ) I dreamed of being able to go into a store and purchase "regular" sun glasses like everyone else. Yet, I could not get past my fear of sticking something on my eye. I finally decided I needed to just face the fear and give them a try. I was shocked at how easy it was and kicked myself for not trying it years earlier. I think I felt as if I'd just jumped from a plane as I left the doctor's office with objects on my eyes that I had placed there on purpose. How fun it was to go to the store and shop for sun glasses.

Fast forward a year and a half later to yesterday. Yesterday I pinned a piece of paper with the number 6129 on it to my shirt. As I looked down at the piece of paper I realized that that I was crossing off another first on my list. This was something I have always wanted to do. I was pinning my race number to my shirt before I took part in my first official race. I suppose I should fight the impulse to tell you this was a 5k run I was a part of. I'm a bit embarrassed to tell you that this was the Corporate Challenge time predicted 1 mile walk. Yes I did say 1 mile. Having never participated in the time predicted walk I was ingorant to the rules. I assumed that if you were part of a competition you would walk a mile as fast as you could. However, I was informed that I needed to walk a mile and report my time. The challenge was then to walk the mile yesterday at the same pace as the time I recorded earlier. This seemed to take a little pressure off but it also seemed a little silly to me. At any rate I showed up yesterday in my new running shorts, running cleats, sports bra and head band. Can I just say this turned out to be my kind of race. As it turned out the times of all 5 people on our team were added together and this decided the time our team had to walk the mile in. One person on the team did now show up. The mathmatician spoke up and said, "this means we will have to walk as slow as possible". My ears perked up some as I was already half way through my water bottle before we started. We had to make up for the 20 minutes this person who did not show up would have walked. Due to the heat stroke I was experiencing, I was a little confused as to how it would all work but I did get the message that this race was about who could walk the slowest. No problem. I could walk slow and I could do it well! When the race official blew his whistle my team took off out of the gate at a turtle's pace. I was even told by someone at one point to slow down. I don't think I've ever been told that before. I actually crossed the finish line to discover that I walked about 33 seconds too fast. What a bizarre competition! I feel so inspired after watching the olympics and completing my first race yesterday that I'm considering signing up for a n Ironman Triathalon. :)

I'M BACK

Greetings!

It's been about 2 years since I forgot my password and was locked out of blog world :) I finally made myself sit down and do what it took to unlock this blog world. It only took about 2 weeks to hack back into my blog. You will notice a few changes. I hope to write a "real" post by tomorrow. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with you.

I Did It!

Friday night as I drove home from work on Nebraska St. a car pulled
out in front of me. The car proceeded to drive top speeds of 18-20 mph.
I know the exact speed because I checked it often. As my car felt like it
was coming to a complete stop, I took a deep breath. It was a test from
God. I should have seen it coming. Would I be kind? Would I honk my
horn? Would I yell at the slow driver as though it would influence their
rate of speed? I'll tell you what I did...... I prayed. I thought about kind-
ness. I turned up the radio. I thought about sad things. I did anything
I could to take my mind off of the road rage begging to surface. I am
pleased (somewhat surprised) to say that it worked. There was a brief
moment when the car made a quick left hand turn without blinkers when
the road
rage surfaces just a bit. I nearly slammed into the car in
front of me as the car behind me nearly rear ended me. My hand was
on the horn BUT I did not honk. Sad to say but this was a huge step for me.
s je



I'm still thinking about kindness. Have you ever had a conversation with someone about an area in your life that you need to work on or something that's just on your mind and then find that you are more keenly aware of it afterwards? That's what happened to me after I posted on kindness. I have paid more attention to the acts of kindess I see and experience. It's been fun to talk with some of you and hear how you too are noticing acts of kindness... Kelley has been blessed with kindness at school in the past week. I am also more aware of the opportunities I am missing to bless someone with acts of kindness. The other night after I wrote the original post I was mowing my lawn. As usual my yard had items from the neighbors trash that has not been placed in it's appropriate place. As usual my first thought is, "I wish they would start picking up their trash so I am not picking up the million pieces after my mower hits it...". But, a funny thing happened then. As soon as the first thought was gone I heard this little voice inside my head (I have lots of voices). The voice said, "wouldn't it be a kind thing to just pick up the trash from your yard and in theres....." Instantly my attitude changed. I picked up the items of trash in my yard and finished mowing. I didn't pick up their yard. I'll let you know if I go to that extreme :). I guess my point is that my perspective changes quickly when I viewed the situation through eyes of kindness.

I have gone to bed three times since my original post of kindness thinking, "when I wake up I am going to think about how I can be kind". Something happens over night. It hasn't worked yet. I wake up with important thoughts like, "it can't be time", "am I sick enough to stay home today?", "how will I get everything done today?"... I know that my thoughts as I start the day influence the day. I am really working on this.

Today I was driving to a meeting. I had the windows down, radio cranked, and I was singing along to "Save a Horse....... you know the rest :). It's just a catchy tune. My attention turned quickly to the funeral processional passing in front of me. I instinctively stopped my car and turned my radio off. I am always amazed at the acts of respect that we easily and naturally perform when someone has died. Years ago I had a client who died. As I attended the funeral and graveside service I realized that I was more aware of what was going on with the people around me and all of the details of the day. This was likely due to the fact that I was not emotionally attached and did not know any one at the funeral. I took note of the kindess extended to family. I took note of the precision and care that was used when the coffin was moved. I took note of the traffice that came to a complete stop as the processional passed by. I even noticed the mailman who stopped on the sidewalk and removed his hat as the processional passed him. I remember thinking then about the respect and kindness we show to people who have died. I believe that this respect is very appropriate. But it made me wonder why it seems like sometimes we show more respect and kindness going through the process of death than to people we pass when they are alive. I continue to wonder about this. Each time I see a funeral procession passing by I wonder if the person was treated with respect and kindness when they were alive. And each time it serves as a reminder to me of my need to show kindness.

Someone suggested in a comment before that I should do a post of ways to show kindness. Don't you find that there are times when kindness just flows naturally from you and other times when it is very intentional, planned, difficult? It seems easy at times to shower people we are trying to impress or gain the approval of with kindness. It is much more challenging to bless someone with kindness when they have hurt us deeply. I think that there are times that kindess is simply expressed through a smile or tone of voice. Kindness can be shown through a card send to encourage someone or flowers. Kindness can be given in a matter of seconds. Shelli and Don have been extremely kind to me probably without intending to. They often include me in family meals and activities. As a single person who lives a distance away from her family person that's a very kind thing to do. This spring I looked out my kitchen window to see Shelli and Don unloading mulch into my landscaping. I was so appreciative of their act of kindness. My Mother will often put a small note card in the mail to remind me she's praying for me. It's such an encouragement. Lynn blesses me with acts of kindness often. She has mowed my lawn several times just because she wants to. To her it's no big deal and only takes 20 minutes. But to me it is such a treat! Last week after allowing me to float in her pool (favorite summer activity), Sue told me to retreive as many tomatos as I wanted from her garden. I'm sure to her it was nothing to speak of but again such a treat for me! I could go on and on but will stop for now. I would love to hear about the acts of kindness you are experiencing.

When I worked at a boarding school in SD I had a day of the week that I designated my "all about others day". It was Tuesday and I was the only one that knew about my special day. We lived on a small campus and were like a family. We had to haul our drinking water from a tap in the main builing. Sometimes on my day I would retrieve water jugs from people's homes and fill them. Other times I would secretly clean a friends house, do dishes, do laundry for people.... Some times I might buy a treat or write an encouraging note. You get the picture. It didn't matter what the act was. That wasn't important. What was important was what happened in my heart and to my attitude through these acts. It was impossible to have a bad attitude or have selfish thoughts on my "all about others day". It wasn't about me. I find that it's so much easier to have the right perspective about life when my focus is on others. It's so easy to be focused on myself and all of the things that aren't going right..... I am a bit ashamed to say that when I left SD for some reason I left the "all about others day" behind. I'm not sure why. I know that I suffer from a more negative attitude now. Could it be that a small thing like one day out of seven set aside for others impacted me in such a huge way? I think it's time to re-visit it.

Surprised By Kindness

"Kindness is a language the dumb can speak and
the deaf can hear and understand".
-Christian Bovee

I've been thinking about......kindness. I came across the above quote in the John Mawell book I am reading, "Winning With People". It is an excellant book by the way for anyone who has contact of any kind with people (should cover everyone).

Today I attended a school conference with a case manager for a young boy he is working with. The case manager wanted me to attend to help his advocate for this family. This young boy has many behavior problems. As the staff shared the boys history with us I felt great empathy for what they have had to deal with. I am happy to say that it turned out to be one of the most productive school meetings I have been a part of. The school is a beautiful building and this boy will have a large variety of resources availabe to him. The Mother left feeling like a good behavioral management plan was in place and hopeful for this new school year. What stood out to me the most though was the kindness that was shown towards the Mother and the young boy. All four school represenatives did such a neat job of showing value to this family. I have witnessed too many times the disrespectful and un kind treatment that "special need" or "difficult" kids and families receive. It got me thinking about the fact that I am often more surprised when I see kindness then when I don't.

A couple weeks ago I was at Circle K treating myself to a sweet juice (AKA...Pepsi). The man in front of me turned and said he thought he got a free drink with the pizza he was buying. Thils stranger told me that he wanted to give the free drink to me. I was shocked and very appreciative. ( Wouldn't it be a cool story if I told you that this turned out to be my dream man and we were getting married......Nope. I got a free sweet juice, no husband :) ) Anyway, I was so surprised by this act of kindness that I must have told four people about it when I got back to the office.

Today I was leaving a building in a hurry to my next appointment. On the sidewalk I passed this little old lady who was moving slowly pulling a large suit case behind her. I smiled and said hello as I passed. As I was passing I heard this little voice in my head say, "she looks like she's struggling, you should offer her a ride". By the time I finished the thought I was at my car. As I got into my car the guilt increased. I was disappointed in myself for not showing kindness by at least asking if she needed help. But, as usual I was in a hurry. I did cirlce around to see if I saw her. I was releived to see that she was waiting at a bus stop. Sidenote..... don't get concerned about me. I am not going the "everyone should pick up strangers on the side of the road" route with this post. :)

A month or so ago I was having car trouble. A good friend let me use her car to drive to my parents for the weekend (two hours away). On my way back home on Sunday night my friends car died on me in the middle of no where. I was on a somewhat busy country road and did not have much of a phone signal. As I tried to call my family for help the tears began to flow. I was already stressed about the fact that my own car needed work and now I was stranded with a friends broken car. Long story short is that I was able to contact my family and all ended was ok. I think I stood by the car waiting for my family for about 45 minutes. What struck me after about 15 minutes was the cars that were giong by without stopping to see if I was ok or if I needed help. As the minutes ticked by it almost turned in to a game. What car will stop? Who will be the kind person that will be concerned about this woman standing by her car in the heat crying? Car after car went by. Now, I ask you, "do I look like a serial killer?" I can understand what maybe a female alone maybe wouldn't stop for fear of it being a trap...... Again, I don't want to give the impression that I stop for hitch hikers.... I speed by plenty of people along side the roadways having car trouble.... Why was I so surprised that day? At one point a car did pull off the road about 15 feet in front of me. The winner. A nice couple my parents age who are concerned about this poor girs stranded a long side the road. Nope. The lady jumped out of the passenger side and retreived something from the trunk. She never even looked in my direction before she got back into the car and off they went. I was shocked! I realize there could be a hundred different reasons why someone did not stop. It just got me thinking I guess.

These situations have led me to these questions, "do I practice kindness?", are people surprised when they witness my kindness?", "would people describe me as a kind person?"

There are many times that I am deficient in the kindess department. I am most deficient when I am behind the wheel!! I admit it. I am not proud of it. I suffer from "road rage disorder". I think I am a pretty patient and tolerant person most of the time. It usually takes a lot to push me to my boiling point. BUT, put me on Nebraska street on my way to a meeting behind a person driving 20 mph and I turn into a different person! I'm sure that my horn will need to be replaced before my brakes. That's terrible to say I know. I really work on this too! I make a conscious effort every time I get in the car to be kind, be patient, take a deep breath, lay off the horn..... If I have ever been behind you in traffic I apologize! I'm working on it.

As I think through these things I usually come back to thoughts about what's truly important in life. I think about the busyness of life and what I miss becasue of it. My desire is to be someone who shows value to others. I am trying to look at things differently. Wouldn't it be incredible to get up in the morning thinking, "how can I show kindness to people today?" instead of "how can I get everything done today?" I'm a long way from it!