I Did It!

Friday night as I drove home from work on Nebraska St. a car pulled
out in front of me. The car proceeded to drive top speeds of 18-20 mph.
I know the exact speed because I checked it often. As my car felt like it
was coming to a complete stop, I took a deep breath. It was a test from
God. I should have seen it coming. Would I be kind? Would I honk my
horn? Would I yell at the slow driver as though it would influence their
rate of speed? I'll tell you what I did...... I prayed. I thought about kind-
ness. I turned up the radio. I thought about sad things. I did anything
I could to take my mind off of the road rage begging to surface. I am
pleased (somewhat surprised) to say that it worked. There was a brief
moment when the car made a quick left hand turn without blinkers when
the road
rage surfaces just a bit. I nearly slammed into the car in
front of me as the car behind me nearly rear ended me. My hand was
on the horn BUT I did not honk. Sad to say but this was a huge step for me.
s je



I'm still thinking about kindness. Have you ever had a conversation with someone about an area in your life that you need to work on or something that's just on your mind and then find that you are more keenly aware of it afterwards? That's what happened to me after I posted on kindness. I have paid more attention to the acts of kindess I see and experience. It's been fun to talk with some of you and hear how you too are noticing acts of kindness... Kelley has been blessed with kindness at school in the past week. I am also more aware of the opportunities I am missing to bless someone with acts of kindness. The other night after I wrote the original post I was mowing my lawn. As usual my yard had items from the neighbors trash that has not been placed in it's appropriate place. As usual my first thought is, "I wish they would start picking up their trash so I am not picking up the million pieces after my mower hits it...". But, a funny thing happened then. As soon as the first thought was gone I heard this little voice inside my head (I have lots of voices). The voice said, "wouldn't it be a kind thing to just pick up the trash from your yard and in theres....." Instantly my attitude changed. I picked up the items of trash in my yard and finished mowing. I didn't pick up their yard. I'll let you know if I go to that extreme :). I guess my point is that my perspective changes quickly when I viewed the situation through eyes of kindness.

I have gone to bed three times since my original post of kindness thinking, "when I wake up I am going to think about how I can be kind". Something happens over night. It hasn't worked yet. I wake up with important thoughts like, "it can't be time", "am I sick enough to stay home today?", "how will I get everything done today?"... I know that my thoughts as I start the day influence the day. I am really working on this.

Today I was driving to a meeting. I had the windows down, radio cranked, and I was singing along to "Save a Horse....... you know the rest :). It's just a catchy tune. My attention turned quickly to the funeral processional passing in front of me. I instinctively stopped my car and turned my radio off. I am always amazed at the acts of respect that we easily and naturally perform when someone has died. Years ago I had a client who died. As I attended the funeral and graveside service I realized that I was more aware of what was going on with the people around me and all of the details of the day. This was likely due to the fact that I was not emotionally attached and did not know any one at the funeral. I took note of the kindess extended to family. I took note of the precision and care that was used when the coffin was moved. I took note of the traffice that came to a complete stop as the processional passed by. I even noticed the mailman who stopped on the sidewalk and removed his hat as the processional passed him. I remember thinking then about the respect and kindness we show to people who have died. I believe that this respect is very appropriate. But it made me wonder why it seems like sometimes we show more respect and kindness going through the process of death than to people we pass when they are alive. I continue to wonder about this. Each time I see a funeral procession passing by I wonder if the person was treated with respect and kindness when they were alive. And each time it serves as a reminder to me of my need to show kindness.

Someone suggested in a comment before that I should do a post of ways to show kindness. Don't you find that there are times when kindness just flows naturally from you and other times when it is very intentional, planned, difficult? It seems easy at times to shower people we are trying to impress or gain the approval of with kindness. It is much more challenging to bless someone with kindness when they have hurt us deeply. I think that there are times that kindess is simply expressed through a smile or tone of voice. Kindness can be shown through a card send to encourage someone or flowers. Kindness can be given in a matter of seconds. Shelli and Don have been extremely kind to me probably without intending to. They often include me in family meals and activities. As a single person who lives a distance away from her family person that's a very kind thing to do. This spring I looked out my kitchen window to see Shelli and Don unloading mulch into my landscaping. I was so appreciative of their act of kindness. My Mother will often put a small note card in the mail to remind me she's praying for me. It's such an encouragement. Lynn blesses me with acts of kindness often. She has mowed my lawn several times just because she wants to. To her it's no big deal and only takes 20 minutes. But to me it is such a treat! Last week after allowing me to float in her pool (favorite summer activity), Sue told me to retreive as many tomatos as I wanted from her garden. I'm sure to her it was nothing to speak of but again such a treat for me! I could go on and on but will stop for now. I would love to hear about the acts of kindness you are experiencing.

When I worked at a boarding school in SD I had a day of the week that I designated my "all about others day". It was Tuesday and I was the only one that knew about my special day. We lived on a small campus and were like a family. We had to haul our drinking water from a tap in the main builing. Sometimes on my day I would retrieve water jugs from people's homes and fill them. Other times I would secretly clean a friends house, do dishes, do laundry for people.... Some times I might buy a treat or write an encouraging note. You get the picture. It didn't matter what the act was. That wasn't important. What was important was what happened in my heart and to my attitude through these acts. It was impossible to have a bad attitude or have selfish thoughts on my "all about others day". It wasn't about me. I find that it's so much easier to have the right perspective about life when my focus is on others. It's so easy to be focused on myself and all of the things that aren't going right..... I am a bit ashamed to say that when I left SD for some reason I left the "all about others day" behind. I'm not sure why. I know that I suffer from a more negative attitude now. Could it be that a small thing like one day out of seven set aside for others impacted me in such a huge way? I think it's time to re-visit it.